Sunlight fades as I stand, alone again, watching from afar. Emotions rage, clawing and tearing the very fabric of my heart and soul. My mind races, thoughts swirling and overlapping much like an angry sea. Solemnly I watch as the last ray of light disappears, leaving me in complete darkness once again.
Sleep will not come easily tonight, for I have been thrust back into the bowels of the beast from whence I thought I was finally free. Fear has taken hold, for no matter what path I choose today I will surely not escape unscathed. Will I lose a friend, or will I gain a companion? Certainly only those two options are left.
Despair flows over me, biting into me as easily as the chill wind. Lowering my head I turn and finally start to walk further into the shadows, and I open my mind and heart up to the raging storm that is trying to destroy me. My only option is to face the fears, the doubts, the thoughts... to attempt to fully understand what has taken hold over me.
Midnight. I finally fall into a restless slumber. My reprieve is rather short-lived however, as I find myself awake again at three.
I tried so desperately to avoid the thoughts running through my mind now, hoping instead I could focus on our friendship alone. Confused, scared... I get up and try to exhaust myself again. My arms ache, and I can barely hold myself up any longer, yet I still cannot clear my head.
I am afraid I know what must be done. For the first time in my life I hope I have the courage to break my own word, and pursue the only path that makes sense. The loss of a friend, the decision for me to turn and walk away, troubles me greatly. How I long for some other option, though I know in my heart the only alternative is for us to pursue that which we fear.
Seven o’clock, and I still cannot sleep. It is time to face the day, and to find out the choice you have made.